Sports Are Ok I Guess

FUCK

2006-03-16T20:35:00.000-05:00

March Madness! Yes!

March Madness is sort of like the holiday season, instead you can only let yourself down instead of your friends and family. Everyone gets all excited about it, even people who don't really watch college hoops. I liken this to Jewish people getting excited about Christmas, because that seems like a politically correct and accurate thing for me to do. But nobody really cares, so whatever! Office pools! Brackets! Upsets! Fun stuff! And the women have one of their own! Why not! It's just the best.

Anyway, it's about 8 hours or so since The Madness began, and my Primary Bracket is already getting pretty destroyed. Not a surprise! This year's Official March Madness Bad Omen was when at about 12:10 pm, aka exactly 10 minutes before the tipoff of MARCH MADNESS, a couple of cable guys and for some reason a Northeastern Police Officer decided they need to install the "new cable" in our room. So, that was pretty cool. Following that, I settled in to watch BC club Pacific in its underrated face, and BC jumped out to a nice comfortable A Lot to A Little lead, and all was good in the world. So I decided, what the heck, why not fall asleep until 12 seconds after the game is supposed to end. Watching television is a lot of work, and even the most dedicated among us need a break occasionally. So then I woke up and it was tied! At the end of regulation! What the fuck! So I went with my gut and fell asleep again, until after the second overtime when everything was safe and BC had remembered that they were a lot better than Pacific and I still had all of my Elite Eight intact. Also I hadn't slept in like 22 hours leading up to the game, but this isn't a contest.

Fortunately this year's theme seems to be "Everyone hates their picks and is wrong about everything" so I think I'm still in decent shape compared to the rest of the country. I got like 40% of my picks wrong from the first flurry of games, but somehow I'm still doing better than like 65% of all the humans who signed up for the ESPN Friggin Bracket Challenge. So I guess that just means most people are complete idiots! Hope perserveres! Also, sorry Tennessee but now everyone outside of Tennessee hates you. Knocking off a 15 seed with a buzzer beater! What a bunch of jerks.

Ok, continual updates throughout the tourney as my 3 markedly different brackets all somehow fail to be even close to accurate. Brackurate? This is clearly going to end badly.

The Olympics! Yeah!....ok. Yeah great.

2006-02-22T21:38:00.000-05:00

Listen, I hate to say it, but I'm pretty sure nobody gives a shit about the Olympics this time around. There are too many obscure sports involved, and all our guys keep losing and we're America so we don't stand for that shit, and to show our intense pride we just watch something else, like Seinfeld reruns.

Bode Miller, you were the only chance that NBC had at getting any ratings, and you're dumb. That's pretty cool that you're above "trying" and "winning" and things like that, and that you get your jollies by doing things your own way and going balls-out all the time and missing wickets or whatever the hell it is with skiing, but when you're the only interesting American in the Olympics everyone is going to want you to actually do well. Maybe you shouldn't have gone, because if you're really all about skiing for yourself and setting your own limits and junk, there are plenty of crazy mountains not in Turin you could be doing that on. I'll believe that you have the talent to be winning these races, but plenty of people have had the talent to do things and didn't, and no one cares about any of them. So now, you are no different. Sorry bud.

On the other hand, there is Sasha Cohen. I was pretty ambivalent towards Sasha Cohen up until today. She seemed like your typical small, uninteresting figure skater with a slightly weird face, but then today I was watching an interview with her, and it was great. She was asked if she wanted to be famous, and she was basically like "Yes I do, because being famous is awesome." YES. I'm sold, instantly. Now I'm rooting for her to win, so she can be famous, cause she Gets It. And what is It, exactly? IT is that it's incredibly, incredibly easy for a decent athlete to become way more famous than they would from their play alone just by showing the slightest trace of personality. These people get so much exposure, there is no way that anyone who has the right combination of being a good player and having some charisma shouldn't be able to finagle celebrity status from it. Look at like, Damon Jones. He's an ok player when he's actually making shots, but he buddied up to Shaq and now Lebron and he displayed some general goofiness, and now he's wayyy more widely recognized than he would be otherwise. There's a fun little trend of people hating on him these days, but that's just for people who think about these things too much and then start bandwagons by avoiding them. But look! Now he's endorsing some crazy shoes from China or something! Does he do that without displaying minor amounts of personality here and there? No way in hell. Class dismissed.

"Hi, the rest of my life is going to be incredibly easy because I'm not an idiot and I occasionally display some charm and charisma."

Shut Up, The Dunk Contest Was Awesome

2006-02-22T21:12:00.000-05:00

Apparently there are a few chaps and chappettes out there who still think it is 1999 or so and are totally over the dunk contest, but for those of us who don't feel the need to act like we're better than everyone else, here is a fact we can agree on: the 2006 NBA Slam Dunk Contest was sweet.

Not like 10,000 pounds of candy corn sweet or even like Sony PSP sweet, but it was pretty intense and definitely fun to watch. That Iguodala dunk off the back of the backboard? Jesus. There's a picture of that floating around somewhere, and you see it, and you're like "nothing about that makes any sense, there is no possible way he dunked that." But he DID, you freaking jerk. It was UNREAL. And also it wasn't lame that Nate Robinson needed 600 tries to get that last dunk, because think about it: if you were walking past your neighborhood playground, and you saw a guy try to pull off that dunk and come as close as Nate Rob did on some of those early tries, wouldn't you stick around for 4-5 minutes until he got it? Would you really say, "this is humiliating, I can't believe he is doing this to the other playground attendees, what a sham"? No, you wouldn't. You would shut your dumb face up and stand there with your jaw hanging around your waist watching this dude try to pull off something ridiculous and awesome. So, I don't want to hear how the dunk contest is boring. It's not. And it doesn't need rules about maximum number of attempts or scoring system adjustments, because it's THE DUNK CONTEST, not the Olympics or something (which are in fact boring, just fyi). It's a bunch of ridiculous athletes doing awesome shit that you're not going to see anywhere else on the planet at any time, and it rocks and you're ugly and this paragraph is over.

Elsewhere in the NBA, Steve Francis to the Knicks? Are you kidding me? I just-...I-.....come on. What. That just...I just...I...I don't know. How did that actually happen? And how will the Knicks EVER lose another game with Jamal Crawford, Steve Francis, AND Stephon Marbury on the floor at once? Hi, we're the Knicks and we specialize in ill-advised flurries of crossover dribbles and a complete misunderstanding of what makes a good basketball player. We're pretty awesome, and our GM is a real smart guy who does smart things and is good at everything he does, like that time he broke the CBA and coached the Pacers out of a championship and got three of the most similar, team-destroying non-point guards the league has to offer. Awesome, awesome, awesome. That should be their new names, Awesome One, Awesome Two, and Awesome Three, because they are three kinds of awesome, and they are good. Jesus. If I were a Knicks fan, I'd now be a Nets fan. What a disaster.

Also, is anyone else surprised that Andrew Bogut is reasonably good? He had Useless Tall White Guy written all over him, but here he is racking up some assists and rebounds and shit and having a broken nose and all that fun, legit NBA-type stuff. Good for him. No reason I'm bringing this up, but way to be, Andrew Bogut. Keep doing whatever it is you do.

The Pistons: CAN THEY DO IT? And also some other NBA stuff

2006-02-14T13:52:00.000-05:00

Don't look now, but the Pistons are only 31 consecutive victories away from breaking the 95-96 Bulls' mark for the best record in NBA history. Given that they have five guaranteed first-ballot Hall of Famers in their starting lineup, you can certainly put this expert down as one who thinks they'll pull it off. You can overlook the fact that starting small forward Tayshaun "Beef McBeeferson" Prince (not pictured) was stunningly left off this year's All-Star squad, because clearly any real basketball fan would rather have him over say, Paul Pierce or Chris Bosh. Clearly. Mainly because of his unbelievable muscle girth and overall non-scrawniness. Anyway, the Pistons will probably just be declared NBA champs around mid-March so everyone involved with the NBA can stop working and start focusing on their illegal March Madness gambling rings.

No, not really. There are also some other teams out there, and I hear some of them are ok. For instance, the Mavericks. I keep seeing all these headlines that are like "ARE THE MAVS FOR REAL?" and "SO THE MAVERICKS: MAYBE THEY'RE A PRETTY GOOD TEAM? I GUESS?" and I'm just like, are you stupid? They've won 13 out of 14 or some similarly impressive number. In fact, I like them in a series with the Pistons, because in the playoffs you generally need That Guy, and the Mavs have him in Large German Goof Dirk Nowitski. One could make the argument for Chaunce Billupson III of Glendaleshire Estates being That Guy for the Pistons, but I'm too bitter about the Celtics trading him to be the one to make said argument. Plus he's ugly, just like everyone else on the Pistons. You're ugly, the Detroit Pistons! You hear me!? One could also make the argument that this very Pistons team is the shining example of how you don't in fact need That Guy to win it all, but I'm just not in a very argumentative mood over here so let's continue.

Aside from the obvious three of the Pistons, Mavs, and Spurs, is there actually a team out there with any reasonable chance to win it? No, probably not. I would say MAYBE the Suns, but it seems too likely that Amare Stoudemire coming back is just going to screw everything up somehow. It doesn't actually make any sense, but that's the sort of thing that always happens even though there's no real reason for it. If he works himself back in seamlessly, then they could join those top 3 I suppose. After that there's the Heat, who are basically working the "yeah we're just not trying....wait till you see us try, then we'll be REALLY good" angle. That's a tough one cause it can be hard to just flip that switch and start dominating (see: Bode Miller). So four and a half good teams. And then......uhh.....and then, well.......there's.....the Kings? I don't know. Artest Crazy Fuel may take them into the playoffs, but I can't see them riding it past the first round. The Clippers could get past a round or two if they get some good matchups, but imagine them up against the Spurs or the Mavericks. Is there a single matchup they win against either one of those teams? Doubtful. So great, everyone make sure to watch a lot of NBA games for the rest of the year, cause they all matter. Awesome.

At least All-Star Weekend is fast approaching! That ought to be exciting. Every year I get all excited about it and convince whoever I'm with that Saturday night to put it on, and then they sort of feign excitement during the 3-point shootout and the dunk contest while I get all giddy and such. It's kind of stupid. Anyone care to watch it with me this weekend? I'm sure TBS will be showing Austin Powers 2 or something, we can watch that during the commercials if you want. Ok never mind then.

In My Face

2006-02-06T17:57:00.000-05:00

Remember a couple of weeks ago, when I had my say about the ratings in the upcoming Super Bowl?

"Also I have decided this will be the lowest rated Super Bowl in 10 years, and that there will be a news article about it on Yahoo news, and I will read it and be happy that I can see the future."

That's what I said.

Well, everything went according to plan, except that it was apparently the MOST watched Super Bowl in, yes, exactly 10 years. And here's the prophecied Yahoo news article to back it up. They don't waste any time. The first sentence:

"An estimated 90.7 million people watched the Pittsburgh Steelers beat the Seattle Seahawks Sunday, the largest Super Bowl audience since the Steelers last played in the title game in 1996."

Mmm thanks! That's what I meant by "lowest rated"......"highest rated." Actually.

At least I got the score right.

Obligatory Post-Super Bowl Blog

2006-02-05T22:16:00.000-05:00

Well let me reveal an Earth-shattering fact: that was pretty weak. Although I guess that shouldn't have come as much of a surprise, given that it had all the characteristics of every other playoff game this year. Those being:

Not a terribly intruiging matchup
No big-name star having a particularly big night
No spectacular numbers from either team
A couple of ok but not very memorable plays
Several blown calls that may or may not have changed the final outcome
One team just sort of inevitably cruising towards victory
Me not caring

Fortunately it was the Super Bowl, so there were lots of hilarious commercials to spice things up! Haha hooray! Oh wait actually no! No, there weren't. Because, there were maybe like three decent ones. I enjoyed Sprint's "crime deterrent" one, because people getting hit in the face with things hasn't and never will get old. Also I don't know if it was like this all around the country, but us folks here in New England were INUNDATED with crappy, low-budget local car dealership ads. My roommate and I were watching in stunned disbelief, completely positive that the rest of the country was being treated to hilarious Bud Light-related hijinks and maybe Jessica Simpson being hot, while we were stuck watching Susan McBusinesswoman wax poetic about Subarus. Bad times overall. The one real victory tonight was my continual, game-long intake of Funyuns, buffalo chicken strips and Dr. Pepper, which currently is causing a Code Black type situation inside of my body. Not that I know what that is yet. I will soon though! Excitement.

Games like this make me wonder if the NFL has peaked, and is now starting to coast back down into the dredges of average public interest, sort of like the NBA circa 1992 or maybe Vitamin C circa the autumn after that graduation song came out. Our collective national attention span seems to be too short for any one thing to be so popular for so long, you know? Just sayin'.

Also! If anyone was still unsure whether or not the Rolling Stones can put on a good show, you can stop wondering! Because, they can't I guess! You know when you say/write a word over and over and over, it just sort of loses meaning? For instance:

Breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast.

I think that's what happened to poor old Mick on "Satisfaction." It's like, he doesn't say the words anymore, he just sort of drools out some vowel sounds that sort of match the original lyrics. I doubt he even notices. I can't imagine singing the same line every night for like 40+ years, that must be hellish. But then again, I can't imagine singing the same line every night for like 40+ years and getting paid for it every time, so maybe it's not so bad. Anyway, I think it's about time for the NFL to start scaling back the halftime thing, it doesn't seem that anyone actually enjoys it anymore.

Ok then we'll cya NFL! It's been real.

That Was Stupid

2006-02-01T23:22:00.000-05:00

Ok if you're BC and you're down 3 with 14 seconds left, don't you shoot a three?

And if you're Shelden Williams and your team is up 3 with less than 10 seconds left, don't you not foul if someone takes it inside?

And if you're an ACC referee and your only responsibility at the game is to observe violations, blow your whistle when you think you see one, and then make frantic hand gestures to communicate your thoughts to the players and coaches involved, don't you call that obvious foul on Shelden?

The answer to all three of those questions is "not if you're stupid," which apparently all three aforementioned parties are. What a stupid ending to an otherwise entertaining game. Kudos to BC for digging out of that hole. I caught some of the game when they were down like 18 and couldn't get a shot off, then 10 minutes later when I got back home from the gym they were back within 6 and magically playing offense again. I was reasonably impressed.

As a side note, Shelden Williams isn't actually stupid. He shows a knack for making heady plays in crunch time, and I like any big man who hits free throws. It's like getting a burrito and then finding a gold doubloon in it. "What? Haha ok, I'll take it!" You know? His only real downsides are that his name is "Shelden" and that his face looks like an egg's face would, if eggs had faces. See:

Shelden/An Egg

Anyone? Great.

Curling: Too Fucking Intense For You, You Pansy

2006-02-01T13:10:00.000-05:00

Apparently they're going to go through with the Olympics this year, which are once again being held in Not America. Foolish decisions all around. No I'm kidding actually, I'm all about the Olympics over here. Lately I've been giving them some grief cause I want to seem like I'm all tough and I don't need the Olympics anymore and I'm happier on my own and we were never right for each other anyway, but deep down inside I still need the Olympics by my side to get me through the long, cold nights.

Especially curling! What a great thing curling is. I've never seen anything unify this great nation of ours the way curling has. I don't care if you're black, white, Jewish, Asian, Latino, ugly, Canadian, rich, poor, republican, democrat, or what, but I do know one thing: you think curling is stupid. If I ran for any elected office on the platform of "Curling is stupid! And also free t-shirts for everyone!" I'm pretty sure I would win in a landslide. Probably the only people who aren't on the 'curling is stupid' bandwagon are curlers themselves and the KC star, which informs you to not even try to comprehend the awesomeness that is curling, cause you'll break your fucking MIND just thinking about it. YEAHHHHHH, CURLING. HIDE THE CHILDREN.

That being said, if I happen to be flipping through the channels next week, or whenever the hell the Olympics actually are, and they're showing curling...I am so there. Someday someone is going to be like "you think curling is stupid? I bet you don't even know the first thing about curling" and this way I can be all like "yeah well, I bet you don't know that if you use a 10" horse hair brush during practice and then an 8" hog hair brush during competition then it's like practicing your jumper with one of those oversized basketballs and then using a normal one during a game" and they'll be all "whatever lady" and I'll have mad street cred. In the curling community, that is. So...ice cred? Rink cred? Thanks to curlingdepot.com for curling equipment-related facts.

In conclusion: curling curling curling. I'm going to go find out when the Olympics actually start.

RICKY

2006-01-27T01:12:00.000-05:00

Looks like the Celtics just swapped Ricky D for Wally Szczcerkziczierbiak.This makes me feel sad. Sorta. See, Ricky came to town with kind of a bad reputation for being irresponsible and self-centered and generally Bad For The League's Image, but he eventually became something of a Fan Favorite. Over time he's proven himself to be rather team-oriented, willing to compromise his ego and his game a bit in order to get them W's. And for that, Ricky, you get traded to Minny for a white guy. Sorry pal.

But not just any white guy. This is Wally World, who went to the nearly-obscure University Of Miami But Like The One In Ohio, Remember and lit up March Madness that one year they were in it. I've been a fan of Wally World since then, as I am always a fan of good nicknames, nearly-obscure schools playing deep into the tourney, and individual players dominating in March. But you know what else? He has GREAT HAIR. Look at this kid:

What a champ. Sharp dresser, too. You can't really see what I mean with the hair, but watch some Celtics games in the near future and you'll notice. It's always Just So, even after 48 minutes of vigorous sweating and general exertion. And in case you think I am nursing a man crush on Wally World, you can forget that because my man crush is strictly reserved for Jake Gyllenhaal. Don't even worry about it.

This being sports these days, there was no possible way we could just trade two players for each other. So, we went ahead and landed some driftwood in (former #1 overall pick! Only the Clippers) Michael Olowokandi and some doof named Dwayne Jones, who sounds like the answer to the following challenge:

"Come up with the name of an NBA player who has never seen a minute of game action, and not even the people in his original hometown are sure of what he's up to these days."

Whatever, Dwayne Jones. I'm already done with you. And despite giving us a second solid nickname, Kandi Man is basically Mark Blount Reprise. He'll be gone after this year, word is. This brings me to the real magic of this trade: no more Mark Blount. I hate to trash on Mark Blount, cause he seems like he would take it really hard, but no matter how many times I gave him a chance he always just managed to be unbelievably bad about 90% of the time. Just not fierce enough, ya know? Maybe KG will bring out the beast in him. We shall see.

Also, we got a #1 pick!? What!? That's pretty awesome, considering that Minny isn't really doing so hot. Despite my exhaustive research I am not sure what year it's for, but #1 picks are always fun to have cause you can trade them for real people and stuff like that. I think we made out pretty well, as we also lost Marcus Banks and Justin Reed, who may develop but for the time being were just making Doc go batshit insane trying to figure out rotations. Too many young guys, some of them had to go at some point. And that point was a few hours ago, Eastern Standard Time.

I give this trade an even B as it doesn't really change things too much, but it clears up some of the loose ends we had hanging around. And now we've got another white dude to root for, and every now and again I hear that us Boston fans love our white guys, so I guess that's good? Sweet?

In closing, here is a departure haiku for Ricky D:

Ricky D, you're ok
Thanks for coming off the bench
Get Buckets baby

Kings-Celtics on Friday now becomes even more of a MUST WATCH. Artest! Wally World! Shit! I'm pumped.

Wow, Theo's Back, Oh My God

2006-01-26T13:37:00.000-05:00

Recently Theo Epstein was officially reinstated as the general manager of the Red Sox, and I'm already over it. I get why everyone loves him: he's youthful and therefore exuberant, he grew up here, he won the World Series, blah blah blah. But he's still a GM, which means he can do all the finagling and jimmying he wants and it still doesn't mean that Manny will remember what time the team bus leaves or that Clement won't get killed in the face by a line drive. I just think that in baseball, payroll is so much more important than your GM's skills (assuming he's not a complete idiot who destroys your team), and the Red Sox have bill$ and bill$ like they don't even know what to do with. Or uhh something to that effect. Every little thing about every sport is analyzed so much that I don't think it's really possible for a GM to have THAT much more of an insight on a particular move than your average Hardcore Fan. Some moves work out, some moves don't. It's hard to predict. End of story.

That being said, I'm glad he's back. Like every other Red Sox fan, a little piece of me dies when I see that a member of the 2004 squad leaves. Did you know that Bill Meuller is gone? What? He was kind of a key guy in that whole run, given that he gave us one of the best bottom of the order hitters in the league. And stuff. Plus he was nice and blue collar and people could relate to him, and he also provided one half of the "guys who are almost named Miller" combo (the other half is also out the door, coincidentally). Fortunately we've got Youkilis to fill in the HOT CORNER but you just hate to see those 2004 guys go.

Now we're going after Coco Crisp, apparently. Here is what I have to say about that:

+ =

Sorry Coco Crisp, your name is too ridiculous for me to take you seriously at this point. I hear he's like kind of good and sort of a Hot Prospect Type, but everyone is sort of a Hot Prospect Type when they're 25 or younger so I'm not too concerned. Maybe if his name was like Blade Tankworth or Bullets Laserford or something wicked tough like that, then I'd be more excited about him. Coco Crisp is two breakfast cereals at the same time, not a real human man. Let alone a starting centerfielder.

Kobe Bryant: "I am a handful"

2006-01-23T01:00:00.000-05:00

Tonight Kobe Bryant scored 81 points against the Raptors. His team won. Good times all around for him. He also had -4 assists, all to Chris Mihm.

By the way:

EIGHTY ONE POINTS

To that I say: What. For those of you not familiar with the number 81, it is located conveniently between 80 and 82, and also it's a retardedly huge number when measuring Points By An Individual During An NBA Game, and also when measuring Burritos Eaten (Per Week). I unfortunately did not catch this game, but I'm pretty sure it featured a lot of dialogue like this during timeouts and such:

Smush Parker: Kobe, this is going ok but you're probably going to run out steam here buddy
Kobe Bryant: [Stares at Smush until Smush starts to cry]
Smush Parker: Life is rough when your name is Smush
Kobe Bryant: By the way, take off that headband you look like a doofus. Also I just scored 8 more points during this timeout, jesus

The biggest thing I took away from this display of complete and utter owning is that KOBE IS GOING TO DO IT. Yes. He's going to score 100 this year. And it will be the most awesome thing ever to happen in the entire history of planet earth, narrowly beating out the birth of life and the development of soft serve ice cream. The thing with Kobe is that A) he could use the insanely good press it would generate, B) the rest of his team actually is bad enough for him to justify taking 50-60 shots on any given night and no one ever seems to care when he does it and C) he is actually a cyborg sent from another planet with a more highly developed society to show us the proper way to live life. And as it turns out, the proper way to live life is to hit 85 fallaway 3's a night and generally maintain a cold, unsettling demeanor all the time. If I was Kobe Bryant right now, I would just keep trying to do it every night and then continually fall a bit short, and then the media starts covering Century Mark Quest 06 like crazy and you would seem like a really selfish guy but its always to help your team come back from a large deficit, so everything's cool, and then eventually you get it and you are redeemed for all of your public failures and what not and then your team gets its collective shit ruined by the Spurs or someone in the first round, but you're over it because come on, A HUNDRED. God.

81 is a big number. Class dismissed.

The Super Bowl: I'm not concerned

2006-01-23T00:18:00.000-05:00

So despite popular opinion, it looks like they're going to go ahead and hold the Super Bowl this year, even though the Pats and Colts and Bears and everyone else who matters are all gone. And the weird part is, I'm going to sit there and watch it even though my Caring About The NFL Level has quickly shrunk back down to about "preseason week 3". Because I like commercials, and also I like hating on Troy Polamalu and then watching him destroy everything I love because he is an unstoppable machine.

This game is in Detroit. I harbor ill will toward the Steelers. The Seahawks play in the CFL, I think. It is unlikely that I will ever pay more attention to something I care about less. But let's continue:

A CLOSER LOOK

The Pittsburgh Steelers: Ok they play in Pittsburgh, where I'm pretty sure the top two pastimes are "metallurgy" and "drinking beer while watching the Steelers". So, bonus points for that, metallurgy is a worthy endeavor if ever there was one. And also, drinking beer is fine by me as well. Bill Cowher's moustache is commanding as ever, and he's way past due for winning one of these things. That alone pretty much seals it up in my opinion, but they have like players and stuff too and they're alright. The aforementioned Troy "The DesTroyer....? eh??" Polamalu will probably run around like a psycho and his hair will make him look absurdly intense, and he'll overpursue like 9 straight screen passes but then he'll flail around hard enough to come up with a tipped interception and then run it back or something. He does that. Also I am confident that sticking him with a horrible nickname will harm his game. In summation: they're the Steelers, this one is already over.

The Seattle Roughriders: Grunge music! Starbucks! Uhh it's really rainy! Kurt Cobain! Microsoft! The Space Needle! Grunge! Rain! Grunge!

PREDICTION
Steelers 245 to 6
MVP: The DesTroyer, with 84 forced fumbles and also he eats off Mack Strong's foot.

Also I have decided this will be the lowest rated Super Bowl in 10 years, and that there will be a news article about it on Yahoo news, and I will read it and be happy that I can see the future.

Welcome Welcome

2006-01-08T04:06:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone. I am Alex and I sometimes watch sports on the television. Then later, I have thoughts regarding the televised events. It's pretty complicated but I think you'll catch on eventually.

Anyway, this should be pretty bad. Check back whenever you like.